5 things every American should know about living in Honduras.

1. Sarcasm is largely lost in translation.

I have come to realize that sarcasm is an American, or maybe a European, invention. Sometimes I say things as jokes that are completely lost in Hondurans. The problem I have now is that those that know I am very sarcastic assume that I am joking all the time. Imagine trying to tell one of my students “This is really great work!” and truly meaning it and having them say “Sure mister. You shouldn’t be so sarcastic.”

2. All gringos have money.

It is assumed that if you have light or white skin then you have money. This is a pretty universal belief that I have run into wherever I have traveled and I would imagine this comes from the combined effects of historical gringo imperialism and too much American tv.

3. Gringos look better in Honduras.

Oh yes, that’s right, gringos that come down here will immediately get bumped up the “dating” scale by a couple points. Why? See #2; plus, I think it has to do with the exoticness of a white person among a sea of Latinos. Whatever the reason, it is real and you may benefit from it. Remember to use this power responsibly, superhero. Unfortunately, for women, this means that catcalls on the streets are pretty regular. But that is something that can be ignored.

4. Paradise with crime.

Honduras is a beautiful country with green jungles, rugged mountains, endless beaches, and friendly people. But what you hear in the news about Honduras, especially in America, is that the crime is out of control. The crime rate is very high; there is no doubt about that. But in the 7 months that I have been here I haven’t witnessed or been victim to any crime at all. If you have common street smarts – use taxis at night, don’t wear your finest jewelry out around town, don’t walk down dark alleys - then you will be just fine. The people that drive up the crime rate and get killed in Honduras are usually Hondurans involved in the drug trade. Just another reason to “Just say No.”

5. Don’t drink the water.

This is probably the hardest thing to get used to at first. I know that the cool water gushing from the faucet looks soooo good, but keep your lips away from it. It’s not that as Americans you won’t be used to drinking the water; it’s that NO ONE drinks the water, not even the locals. Poor plumbing and an awful sanitation system means that taking a small gulp from unboiled faucet water could mean a hospital trip or, at the least, a weeks worth of the Rhea. What that means is that there is a booming bottled water industry down here and that if you want drinkable water for your home you will be buying it weekly in 5 gallon containers. Warning: Do not accept water in bottles that have dents or burns on them. In order to get more water for cheap you have to return your previously used-up 5 gallon container, but if there are dents or holes or whatever sorts of blemishes then they will blame you for them and you wont get water at the usual price. The going rate of a 5 gallon jug of water = L24 which equals out to be about $1.20.